Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"I Pity the Fool" Again

Almost the second I begin to feel anxious about something, I begin looking for solutions.  "If I do this will it bring some relief?  What if I do that?"

And usually I don't look for solutions any farther than my own nose.  I think I have them.

But the bible paints a different picture.  It says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  When we even begin to feel a hint off track we're supposed to look to God, for he's our sufficiency.

I know this, because I just got back from biking.  It's sort of my catch-all hobby to go to when I'm feeling the least bit tired, stressed, anxious, fearful, sad, worried, pitiful, hungry, itchy, etc.  I go to it first.  And most of the time it does make me "feel" better.  But am I really better for going to it first?

I would argue that I'm not.  Often I'm masking over stuff with escape when God is calling me to draw close.  For God has "pity on the weak and needy, and saves the lives of the needy" (Psalm 73:13).

Now Mr. T doesn't have pity.  No he pities the fool!  And so should I.

In my foolish thinking I think, think, think way too much.  If I feel I need to repent, I think about it.  If I think there's something wrong, I think about it.  But now I'm starting to catch the gist of what I think God is saying to me recently, I think.

He's asking me, rather attempting to figure out why I go to biking, or watch movies, or guzzle coffee, or eat chocolate by the fistful, or "punching people in the face yo", why don't I recognize that God is my sufficiency and run to him first thing.

I've thought of repentance like this for the longest time:  You try and figure out what you've done wrong, confess it to God and then turn to Him.

Um, I think I've got it backwards.  Maybe, just maybe, I should turn to God first, and then allow him to help me see what's wrong.  

After all I'm the weak one and he's the one with all the muscles, just like Mr. T.

(By the way, this is the second time Mr. T has shown up in the blog.  I'm starting to feel like he's singling me out here.)


Stephanie Ramirez said...

Hi Phil! I think you can go to God first while you are on your bike. When I run, endorphins kick in and I start to feel good. This opens up my mind and heart so I can have an honest dialogue with God. Don't be so hard on yourself. Use your bike to be something that draws you to God even if your on the bike first and then the praying comes second. Blessings! Stephanie Ramirez

Philip said...

Hey Stephanie,

Thanks for your thought. You're right I am too hard on myself. I think the main point I was getting at still applies though, we can and should go to God first as he's our sufficiency, always. But you're right, this can be while running, swimming, biking, painting, and on and on and on! That's the glorious thing in living a repentant life. Every time we move from our resources to His resources, we step into the glorious riches of our creator God who says, "Go play, and explore my goodness in all these things." It's a freeing thing isn't it!

Thanks for your reminder, I think it's the other side of the equation that I didn't explore.

I hope you guys are healing up! I'll pray for you again today :).