Sure I like watching words flow across the page and all that. But I hope I'm reaching deeper into the well of who I REALLY am and who God REALLY is as I write.
I believe I am. And I'm excited to continue writing. I feel compelled to write. It's something I have to, if nothing else than to kill the editor/perfectionist/jerk within.
I've got to beat him. I've got to be drawn into the world of the senses: sight, smell, sound, touch. It's what writing for me is all about, getting dirty.
I want those grubby finger-nails I had as a kid again. I want to scratch the surface of rich brown loamy dirt and come away uncovering treasures. Writing is about exploring just that. And hoping in that. Is there treasure to be found?
Writing too represents freedom. If I can't say something than I've got to ask why? I've got to figure some stuff out, hash it out, have it out and take it to my God.
Writing is also about wisdom. If I don't put stuff down, things don't quite lodge in my core. Does that make sense?
I can't wait to become more proficient at this, and I know it will take hard work, but it's totally worth it.
It's worth escaping the prison of my mind and playing in the garden of God's rich treasures.
I've been listening to NPR a lot recently and they're obsessing on the election. Some poor four-year-old girl phoned in crying saying "I'm just so tired of hearing about Mitt Romney and Barack Obama." I feel her pain.
If I don't write I'll get stuck just like NPR. Obsessing on one thing with no-where to go. So writing for me is a form of prayer as well. It's basically me just crying out my big WAAH! to God. I've got to let it out, or I'll get distended and bloated.
Sometimes I feel like a fool for pursuing this life of a writer. It's scary sharing your secrets. But if I don't share and others don't share, I feel like we'll literally (ha) suffocate in our isolated thoughts. That's why I read as well. I need to hear and find wisdom from others who are reaching out.
So in case you were wondering what keeps me going other than patent narcissism, there you go. I hope you to can find a way to express your longings, desires and struggles as well. Perhaps you could leave a comment :). Something like "I read this."
