Joel Osteen: the Perfect Neighbor

"Save yourself from this wicked and crooked generation." - Peter at Pentecost

I got to watch Joel Osteen being interviewed by CNN's new pundit Pierce Morgan. How Pierce ever got the job as Larry King's successor, I'll never know. From "America's Got Talent" to CNN, that's quite a switch!

Interviews and stuff like this are interesting to me, and I'm not exactly sure why. But I believe I got a glimpse into what just might be going on in me while I watch. As the interview went on and on and on (due to infinite commercials. One included a snake tempting an Eve character - I had to switch channels due to the sensuality. But oh the irony!), I kept waiting with pent-up excitement for Pierce to ask Joel and his wife a difficult question. He did ask a few and his wife, who seems like sort of an accessory to the Joel show, bailed him out of a few slightly difficult situations. Like calling homosexuality a sin for example.

As the interview went along I found myself genuinely liking Joel. He seems like a really nice guy: gentle, kind, shy and down to earth. He's the kind of guy I'd like to be my neighbor. He'd laugh at all my really sad puns, invite me over for coffee and perhaps even take me shopping for a new Bentley (that's low Philip). I know he'd read my blog and leave comments, which would greatly help my self-esteem (hint, hint).

I really like Joel. His wife oozed my sentiment: "I like my little Joely, he's got such a sweet smile and is sooo cuddly!" She didn't actually say this, but she would have if prompted.

"So what's wrong with the guy?" I'm thinking.

Let's break it down. What is his basic message? "Be true to yourself and follow your heart." Hmm. "God wants to bless you!" Hmm.

My pastor friend has given me what is called the "Gospel Grid." It's helpful in understanding the key components that make up our faith. You may be familiar with it. If not you're probably not saved (ha!). It goes like this: one vector represents God's holiness and goes up from the horizontal plain and another goes down and it's called our sin. The cross bridges the gap between the two vectors. (Are they "vectors?" If not you have to give me points for my mathematical style.)

The way the grid should work is that as we move along the horizontal plain from the time of "new birth" our view of God's holiness and our view of the depth of our own sin should grow in both directions, thus making the cross bigger and bigger until its huge! In my case the cross is huge at about 80 or 90! And if you wind up a spiritual guru like Joel, the cross should be all you can talk about.

Unfortunately Joel didn't talk about it at all. I may have missed it as I was switching around watching some of "Everybody Loves Raymond" (what a show by the way!). But the only time he even mentioned sin, was when Pierce asked him about homosexuality. Joel really couldn't avoid it, it'd get him into too much hot water with his constituency, but boy did he wish he could say it wasn't a sin. It was pretty evident.

So what's wrong with Joel? On the horizontal plain, not too much really. He's a much better guy than I am. On the horizontal plain he probably beats me hands down.

What's wrong with Joel is probably similar to what was wrong with Gandhi except that Gandhi at least would have been repulsed by all the riches. So maybe Gandhi would have beaten Joel in a match of morals. I don't know.

So I'll ask it again, what's wrong with Joel and Gandhi? I'll go ahead and say it: their audacious and inexcusable pride before a living God. They believe and believed that they could and can bridge the gap to God.

I think the same thing all the time. I reduce the Good News to practically nothing when I think, "I'm a pretty good guy, God forgives me and why wouldn't he want to bless me?"

I forget that I am in a "wicked and crooked generation." I am "wicked" in that I defy God's law and want nothing to do with him. I am "crooked" in that everything that I believe and have been brought up to believe about morality is backwards.

I think good morality is about me being good. It's not. It's about me being perfect. Only one God is perfect. Only one God can save. And we are desperately wicked. Our deepest suspicions of our depth of brokenness and sin are never deep enough.

My thinking has been so hijacked by me and the world around me that it's been a long hard road to a realization that I am in fact "wicked." But with this growing realization, I'm beginning to see that I am in fact "righteous" through the Cross. Ironically it's a really encouraging place to be, for here and only here is there real hope.

If you're like me, and have a hard time seeing what's wrong with such nice guys like Joel. Just take it on faith, there's a lot wrong. Heck there's a lot wrong with you and me. You might say there's a "hell-load" of stuff wrong (for didn't Jesus experience Hell/God's full wrath on the cross?), we just need the Spirit's eyes to see it. He's who prompted Peter to say this at Pentecost.

May we "save ourselves from this wicked and crooked generation." Cling to that cross. Cling tight...

"Dynamic"

"And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and power...
If any among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise." - Paul to the Corinthians

Dynamic - adj., "of or relating to physical energy or force."

A little while ago I mentioned to Melissa that I'd grown to hate the word "dynamic." Just to be lovingly obtuse, Melissa said she loves it. She said that it's a terrific word for describing the Gospel. She just had to bring the Gospel into it, didn't she. Like wives the world over she's right, always right, never wrong, ever.

So why do I hate the word? For the past 5 years or so in ministry I've been hearing it in relationship with great speakers and teachers. Possibly it's because I'm not a great speaker, so I forfeit my dynamism. Jealousy is no small demon. But I think I also have a good reason for being uncomfortable with the word being applied to people. I think we worship them.

We worship great teachers, speakers and pastors when we apply to them what we should be applying to their message. Paul makes this clear in 1 Corinthians 2 & 3. He's nothing but a servant and his message, which he spoke with great "weakness, fear and trembling," is everything.

There are a bunch of reasons why I put mere mortals on pedestals. One of the most perilous is that I put them on a pedestal in order to distance their message from me. If their message is truly "dynamic" in that it contains the powerful and transforming message of the Gospel, it often makes me want to hide. A form of hiding that I use is, "Wow! He must be a really holy guy. That's an amazing message."

I then put that preacher, teacher or speaker on a pedestal and pray that God would somehow make me like them. That's simply not the Gospel. That's idol worship that is discouraging and, eventually, deadly. It kills our walk with Christ because God's standard is not some teacher, preacher, speaker or writer (we do this with them as well - but I'll forgive you if you worship me, j/k), it's his son Jesus Christ.

We are called to be like Jesus Christ. So when someone is admired for his dynamism, I can't help hating the word. Because I know where buzz words like these lead. They lead to people worship.

On a side note, how many of you have heard about a "dynamic" speaker and gone to listen to him/her with great excitement and have simply been wowed by their passion and intellect. And leaving you've thought, "That was awesome! I didn't get it, but it was awesome!" Sometimes we're just thick, but sometimes these "dynamic" individuals don't transmit anything real or transformative. Or their dynamism overshadows their message's dynamism.

People worship is foolishness to God. For obvious reasons. He wants us to receive his dynamism in the person of his Son and through his Holy Spirit. And at the end of 1 Corinthians 3 we find that we have "all things" already in Christ.

"For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's"

That's why Melissa is right, as always. The Gospel is very dynamic. It's so dynamic that Paul intentionally played the fool by worldly standards in order that people like me wouldn't be tempted to hide their lives in his dynamism. Hide your life in Christ.

"130," God said.

"May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money." -Peter

Last night I was the Bob the Lifeless Blob basking in the blue glow of the TV. As I flipped (my finger was still working) I landed on a "Christian" channel preaching the "Good News." It was bad, really really bad. So bad in fact that I decided I'd call in and ask what in the world were they thinking.

The host of the show was saying that Prophet Billy Smith had prophecied that there was a significance to the number 130, and it was just a word from God and because it was a word of God it needed to be obeyed. From there they popped up on the screen opportunities to obey this command from God via Joe Blow via the host.

I notice that it's always a good idea not to actually film the dude having the prophecy. It's good to have him seperated by a third party, because it might cause people to doubt if they saw the process. I can see him with pencil in hand, scratching his head, slapping gum, picking his nose, and finally righting down a number. "Yep, that's it 130! God told me 130!" "130 what Billy?" "Dollars of course!"

So after introducing this magical number, the host went on to explain all the intricacies of biblical prophecy with the idea that none of it makes any sense. He explained with examples from Leviticus. I was thinking that was a good place to start. But he said that the key is that we take hold of the prophecy by wrapping it in obedience, because then it would become our own personal "battle seed of victory."

He went on to say (with an actual picture of someone writing a check in the background!) that people could obey this prophecy by giving $50, $130, or $1,300 gifts. Other than thinking that this guys idea might serve me well in support raising (j/k), I was thinking how the number 50 got in there. His argument would probably be that it was also a word of God, since God has obviously revealed that if we are bad with numbers, the default was simply to go with $50. Step asside logic, enter madness!

Well I didn't really want to rant and rave this morning. I just wanted to ask the question, "Do I ever do the same thing?" Unfortunately, as I've been thinking about it, I do it all the time. I may not go to all the trouble to do an in depth analysis of biblical prophecy. But I do often think that if I do this thing for God, he'll give me victory.

The tomfoolery of it all is befuddling (I've been waiting to write this sentence). Why I think God is my lucky charm is head-scratching and gum-smacking sort of stuff. Why I think that if I obey, God will make my life peachy and get with the program, my program, is pretty sad. I often think that God is like a waiter waiting on my order. He's not!

OK, so some of you are wondering how my conversation went when I called into the station. It was a little dissappointing. I met a real person just doing his job. I asked him if he knew what was being preached on the station: silence. I asked him if he knew it was totally unbiblical: silence. I asked him if he got calls like this a lot: he said he did. Then I just told him that I felt I needed to talk to somebody about it and he said he understood.

It was really sad, because here I realized I was calling in to express my righteous indignation and was being met with patient silence. It's almost like God was answering the phone for this station. My indignation was slowly turning to shame as this guy showed patience, composure and even empathy. I don't know if he knew that the finger I was pointing at them was slowly being pointed in my direction, but it was, and like Simon in the story out of acts, I was patiently being reminded that things of God can't be purchased.

Just a thought from Bob the Lifeless Blob (In case you're wondering, this is not really the way I think about myself. And as my wife expressed the other day, most of my blogs seem to be centered around my struggles with sin. Sorry about that, when I'm sanctified a bit more, maybe I can write about prophecy (tongue firmly planted in cheek)).