Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Light Up My Eyes

"light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death" - David.

"Earthy." That word seems to best describe the poetry of the OT. It's not esoteric or pie-in-the-sky kind of stuff. It's the stuff of the everyday, the kind of stuff that speaks to earth-bound humans.

A recurring phrase through the OT is "it lit up his eyes." It happened to Jonothon when he ate honey after returning from battle. It has to do with good food. I like good food, and sweets.

That gels with my growing understanding of God, that he is concerned with my creatureliness. He's concerned with my everyday needs.

So why do I get caught up with money, anxiety, fear and respect? I believe it is because I forget my provider. I forget that the one who "lights up my eyes" is God. "...Give us this day our daily bread..."

This comes as a relief to me today. I don't have to worry and dabble in areas beyond me. I can simply be. For I am taken care of. I have food. And I have food for my soul in God.

I was just talking to a friend who's worried about a group presentation he has to make today. I feel his pain. I hate public speaking, unless it's yelling at a referee or something. And thinking of everybody in their underwear seems to be an equally fearful thought.

The fear of man and his approval is deeply rooted in my fallenness. But in God, I have the one who lights up my eyes sitting on the front row of every public engagement. He is my greatest cheer-leader. He made me and he loves me. He lights up my eyes. He intimately knows the heart that pounds, the palms that sweat and (my favorite) the stomach that rumbles.

Through public speaking disasters, I have realized that I can do nothing better to grow in sanctification than to fail miserably at something. For in failing I fall into my Creator's arms. In failing I recognize that I am just flesh. In failing I recognize what life is about. Life is about God.

And this frees me up to fail spectacularly. It frees me to live boldly. It frees me to embrace this earthy, gritty reality that is God's creation, that is me. Living in the excitement of what he gives I can be like a dog wagging his tail over a treat (perhaps not the best metaphor), for I can know for certain that God's greatest desire is to give. I am told in the Good News that this is his heart - to be the ultimate giver.

May God light up your eyes today. Don't try and live dead.

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