Now I am all over the place. One day I'm up, one day I'm down. One day I read God's word and treasure it, the next it seems like dead routine and I put it aside. One day God feels close, another he feels a million miles away.
But faith isn't like me. I don't believe faith wavers. (Sure, James and Hebrews talk about wavering in our faith, but I think they would agree that faith that wavers, isn't faith at all.)
Faith is something altogether other. Faith is a God gift.
Faith is the ability to take all of our human craziness to God. Faith is happy with us, and faith is sad with us. Faith lifts us in ecstasy and holds us in the darkest raging storms. Faith is from God.
I used to think, and still do a lot of the time that faith is something I produce. Its not. Its something that is planted in me by God.
It is not a feeling, though it effects feelings, its not will, though it effects will, it is in my mind simply this: the Hesed of God.
What do I mean? Hesed means steadfast or faithfulness, and in the case of God, I think it just overflows. God is so full of robust goodness, he simply fills us with knowledge of him. I believe that this is where faith comes from, as well as where it ends.
The second I try and produce faith, its gone. The second I think I've lost faith, I find it. Its mysterious. But so is the God we have the privilege of serving. So here's to unwavering faith.
For in faith we forget ourselves, and in faith we find God.
