God Will Not Lie

"Once for all I have sworn by my holiness;
I will not lie to David." - Psalm 89:35

Sometimes it feels like God's lied.  Sometimes I'm not sure that the "new life" within me is going anywhere, if I'm any different and if change is happening.

I'm struck this morning by the seeming slowness of God and my own unresponsiveness (I don't know how to extract the two).  I've heard that his schedule is not our own and that he doesn't move according to our own time-tables, but what really gets me is stubborn slowness of my own sanctification.

I was laying in bed last night just thinking about this: Why if I'm a "new creature" do I feel so old?  Why do the sin patterns in my life take so long to extract?  Where's the victory and new "creatureliness" that God promises?

Sin can be a discouraging thing.  And who I often think about in times like this is someone like the apostle Paul, someone who had no time for sin, he was simply so in love with God and with his task of spreading the kingdom.  But that can't be accurate can it?

So sometimes with me, and I guess I'm moping a bit, I feel like God lied.

So where's the twist, where's the gospel turn-around this morning?  How am I going to tidy up this little mess of a post and turn it into something hopeful.

Honestly, I'm not going to.  Sometimes the gospel calls us, as a speaker reminded me, to "sit with tension."  And I guess all I've got is this to hope in: the gospel is not a formula, it's a person, who we will sometimes think lied.  But he hasn't lied.  His promises always prove true right?  And his promise to me out-trumps his seeming slowness and my lack of growth and faithfulness.

If it's true, if the gospel is really true, then I know that I for one will be slack-jawed when it happens.  But sometimes it just feels like God lied.  I think it's OK to feel this way.