My walk with God resembles one of Monty Python's "silly-walks." Heels flipping up to my ears with knees bent in and elbows swinging vigorously, I walk with God in a fashion that betrays my lack of a "united heart."
One second I'm excited about the prospect of obeying God and walking in his way, and then I'm not even into the next second before I find myself in a ditch somewhere with a toe in my nose wondering what happened. My silly-walk took over.
So I was relieved this morning to find again in God's word that we are supposed to ask God to teach us his way so that we can walk in his truth. And to go a step further, we are to ask for a united heart to fear God's name.
I was also just reading J.I. Packers, Knowing God, and growing more worried by the fact that I often don't fear God. A lot of the time my actions betray that I don't give a too-whit (is that even a potential word?) about what God thinks. The problem I faced as I read was that I was reading on God's WRATH. I don't need coffee on mornings when I read about God's wrath.
But this brings me back to asking God. It's pretty cool. As I'm strutting around like a turkey-buzzard, trying to read my bible and be a good Christian, God beckons me to ask him to teach me his way. Who would have thought that the Christian walk would be so uncomplicated as to simply rely on God and ask him for help? It sounds pretty straightforward.
I've been a believer long enough though, to know that the Christian walk, while being straightforward, is still extremely difficult, due to the great gulf that lies in my heart. I want to ask, but I don't want to listen. Or I think I want to listen, but then "inexplicably" I don't ask. I know that God will lead me, but I'd rather not be lead. So around and around I go, doing the chicken strut backwards.
Is there any hope? Not really. I can't do this whole Christian thing on my own. I am utterly dependent on the mercy of God and his work in me through his Spirit. Jesus has got to not only cover me, plead my case before the father, and then teach me to fear, but he's going to have to teach me how to walk. And after seeing my latest version of the gorilla-crab-hop-jingle-shuffle, he may want to pack it in...
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