PM: I can barely see. The spot where the sun was is now just a faint orange glow on the horizon. But I keep digging. I've got to get this done before I go inside. Otherwise I won't be able to jump my bike in the morning (Yes, jumping my bike again!). First I craft the lip of my jump, making sure to use the last of the light, as this takes the most fine tuning. I slap dirt on the lip, rhythmically slapping it with my flat spade. "Slap, slap, slap." It's a cool sound. Finally I begin to see the glossy sheen that tells me that the dirt is well packed and will hold. Now to get some dirt on the landing before I can't see anything...
AM: The cool light pours through the woods, every minute getting warmer. It reminds me of the start of a fire - someone blowing ash off of hot coals. I can feel the solar energy, like the light is soaking into my skin and ever deeper into my tissue. I look to my right. There is my favorite scene: the sun light hitting my evergreens. It produces a colour so vibrant, it makes me suspect my senses.
God does this every day: AM, PM, AM, PM. Over and over again the sun rises and the sun sets. And yet as a creature, it never ceases to amaze me. Something about it is beyond words. It heals me and reminds me of the One who holds the reigns of this reckless world around me. It reminds me of a place more peaceful, a land that will someday be your's and mine. A place without the corruption of self, busyness, deadlines, headaches and stress. It speaks of Shalom. It speaks of Immanuel. "God with us."
So what's getting me up so early? Freezing temperatures. If I don't get out early, I can't jump my bike (a fate worse than death), since the ground is a slippery, slimy, muddy mess the rest of the day. Trying to jump on that sort of surface is begging for a mouthful of mud spat out and quickly chased by inappropriate verbage. So I try to avoid it. Early AM jumping is the best as my dirt is packed and frozen and my bike rolls and flies high like I'm on concrete (Yes, I try not to crash!) And what I've found is a growing love of God's sunrises, especially when his rays hit my evergreens (or his, err?). Something in that moment feeds my soul.
It reminds me that the night I just experienced in which I was unconscious, really pretty much at the mercy of the world around me, without any ability to control, manipulate or exert my power continues to be my "given" state. What do I have to do with sunrises?! Nothing. I simply sit and gape, and if it's real early, drool. This speaks to me both of my creatureliness and of the bounty of God - my "ant-ness" before God and his creations. Small do I feel. Tiny and minuscule but part of it. Yes part of it! The sun is hitting me.
That's why I love the verse above. It speaks of righteousness. It speaks of the right being realized, something I see when the early morning sun breaks the rules of colour on my evergreens. It's amazing, and it burns brighter and brighter to a climax in full dawn!
For me this verse speaks of my greatest hope being realized. That I would burn brighter and brighter until full dawn. It speaks of sanctification being realized. Being saved and progressively being saved. It whispers of mystery and the great secret.
Someday I will shine. Someday I will be a creature that, if you looked at now, your knees would tremble and you may fall on your face (As my uncle used to say, "No brag, just fact."). Someday I will see my God, face to face. He will shine on me and I will shine. All will be right, right through every fiber of my being.
For now, I'm trying to be satisfied with his light gently warming this cold soul. I need much trust and faith that what this verse speaks of IS actually happening. It's so lofty, but it happens every AM. And it may just be the truest thing about me and you. May we shine together!