"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!" - David.
I was reminded yesterday of my utter dependance on God for all things good. Left to my own devices, I will not only experience my own personal hell but will bring hell into others lives.
I had been dealing with temptation, and I had forgetten that God is my sole rescuer. There's enough common grace in my life that I often believe the illusion that "I've got this."
It's one of the weird things about being a human: that the grace that sustains and gives my every single breath rarely gets credit. God is overabounding in his grace to us humans, but often it is this common grace that keeps us from him.
My guess is that's what had me in a tough spot yesterday. I had experienced enough grace, both common and special, that I began to think I could go it alone. And I thought I was doing it for a while. I guess I even thought I was depending on God. But then temptation hit. And Whamo! I was a slave acting being chained and gagged to the very thing I hate.
It was then that I prayed one of my most sarcastic prayers in recent history: "God save me if you can." And guess what? I found out that God answers sarcastic prayers. Sweet!
I should have known that God would rescue. Through the Bible it's what he's all about. He seems to have the keys to every jail, prison, dungeon and I bet he even has the key to Al Gore's "Lock Box" (do you remember that?). Anyhow, he does, and I'd hate to try to find a key on his chain. Good luck!
So God blessed me last night more than I know. Obviously I can't really write about what I don't know. But I can say that he saved me AND reminded me that I've got to cling close to him all the time.
I can't go it alone, it just never works out the way I plan it. I will steal, kill and destroy, just like my old master, the Devil.
I need God "to teach me to do his will," because I'm so used to doing my own. My own will winds me up in the pit. But even there God "rescues my life from the pit, and crowns me with steadfast love and mercy." I don't deserve God in my life this morning (just like every other), but I'll take him.