Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Gap

Here I sit in Starbucks, sipping my Mocha Venti Frappachino, reading my ESV Study Bible and wondering, "What the heck am I doing?"

How can I read Romans 5, a passage that has rocked the face of Christendom for centuries and simpy sip on my Frapp - my symbol of cathartic self-love and indulgence. There are cavernous gaps between what I read and live. They gape - these gaps - and whispering up from their depths are truths that I'm not situated to understand on a heart level.

Why? Because I've literally bought in to a culture that glorifies self-love and doesn't glorify God. Do I "rejoice in the hope of the glory of God?" Since I'm not even sure what that means, my guess is I don't. Now, don't get me wrong, early Christians were clearly not super-saints, but their lives, and often deaths, pointed to a greater reality - the reality of Christ's life lived in them.

Do I believe that Christ doesn't live in me? No. In fact this passage clearly shows the rescuing hand of God that saved us "while we were still weak" and "while we were still sinners." But what if we have been saved and are still sinning, sipping frapps, and are still sold on a culture of lies?

I find great comfort in the line which says, if "we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life." My only hope is in the life of Christ. His heart's got to start beating in this rebellious sinners chest. If it doesn't my arteries will get clogged by Mocha Frapps and I'll eventually die from self-indulgence.

I think I'm called to something more than sitting in Starbucks and sipping on Mochas. Not that it's all I do. But these days, it's one of the escapes I seek. Having been called by God to share with people what God is doing through Student Venture and to share our need for finances and prayer, I escape to my Frapp, my blog, my bike, my books, basically anything but surrender through trust. I'm a Jonah just waiting for the fish to chomp.

I mourn over this attitude of faithlessness. It characterizes my everyday. It fills my days with restlessness, discontent, and frustration. God wants more. Not from me. He simply wants to do more in me. Am I willing? Are you willing?

That's why picking up the Bible is such a scary thing. It constantly calls us to things that are way above us. Its truths always take into account super-natural intervention. Salvation is its mantra. Which is a good thing, because I need salvation on a daily basis.

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